Vampire Woman Gets Horns

Who wouldn’t kill for an awesome set of titanium horns?

If you hover your curser over the image of our pal in the upper-right corner, the caption reads “When you realize you’re the guest of honor at a self-thrown pity party, stop and look around; it could be a hell of a lot worse.”

Meet Mexican tattoo artist Maria Jose Cristerna, also known as “Mujer Vampiro.” (Vampire Woman) This foxy mother of four from Mexico showed off her sexy self at a tattoo exhibition in Monterrey, California recently.

Her “unique look” includes vampire teeth, creepy contacts, and a pair of awesome earrings. Guess what? She’s not finished; Vampire Woman says she plans to have more horns implanted. Of course she does!

The tattoos? Maria says they’re a “form of liberation.” From WHAT Maria? She claims that her new titanium horns are her way of “being immortal.”  She adds that the new horns, which were implanted without anesthetic, are a “symbol of strength.”  Yeah, that – or stupidity.

Good grief.

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Murder Solved After Cops Find Crime Scene Tattooed on Gang Member’s Chest

You just can’t make this stuff up

When 23-year old John Juarez was shot dead in front of a Los Angeles liquor store in 2004, the police were unable to figure out who did it. The case remained unsolved  — until a vigilant cop happened upon a curious mug shot four years later.

Meet 22-year-old Anthony Garcia, a member of the notorious LA gang Rivera-13, who was arrested in 2008 for driving without a license. As part of the booking procedure, police took pictures of his tattoos and entered them into their database.

Later that year, Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Homicide Detective Sergeant Kevin Lloyd was looking through photos when he noticed something odd: the scene tattooed on the front of Garcia‘s chest looked a whole lot like the crime scene from the Juarez murder.

Cincidence? Not so much. Stupidity? You bet:

The LA Sheriff’s Department describes the similarities Lloyd noticed:

The tattoo window and frames of the store are similar to the crime scene photo of the liquor store; even the tattoo line on the roof represents the Christmas lights.

The tattoo shows a “peanut man” being shot by a helicopter, then falling face down.

The gang nickname of convicted murderer Anthony Garcia is “Chopper.”

Garcia’s gang refers to members of its rival gang as “peanuts.”

The direction that the shots were fired matched those depicted in the tattoo.

The tattoo street light and street sign to the left of the liquor store resemble the corner of Rosemead and Carron, the scene of the murder.

After Lloyd recognized the mural, sheriff’s detectives arrested Garcia for the shooting. Believing he was talking to gang members, Garcia bragged to under-cover cops about carrying out the shooting. Of course he did.

Garcia was convicted of first-degree murder this week in a case that police had at one time given up hope of ever solving. That is until Anthony Garcia’s arrogant stupidity got the best of him. The moron of morons.

Abercrombie & Fitch Introduces Padded Push-Up Bikini Tops for 8-year-old Girls

JUST WHEN YOU THINK THINGS CAN’T GET ANY STUPIDER, ALONG COMES ABERCROMBIE & FITCH (AGAIN)

Abercrombie & Fitch, the retailer most associated with sexualizing young adults, has a great new idea for 8-year-old girls: Padded, push-up bikini tops. How awesome is that? The tops are available on the company’s website: Abercrombie Kids. (a website with a target audience of 7-13 year-olds)

Here’s a screen-grab of the bikini top from the A&F website as it was originally posted:

When word got out that A&F had stepped in it again and the controversy began, a couple of subtle changes were quickly made to the website. It’s on sale too! Those clever devils are sneaky, huh?  Check it out:

Controversy over the sexualization of young girls is nothing new to A&F. Cast your mind back to 2002; remember when the company was selling thongs to pre-teens? Class act. Thongs that were decorated with cherries and hearts on them no less. Oh, and sayings like “wink wink” and “kiss me.” The outrage was substantial, prompting a bizzare response from a company spokesman:

“It’s not appropriate for a 7 year old, but it is appropriate for a 10 year old. (“it” being a thong) Once you get to about 10, you start to care about your underwear, and you start to care about your clothes.”

What a responsible company; nothing like being on the leading edge of 10-year-old girls caring about their underwear. I wonder how many of those little bikini tops A&F execs will be giving their children as gifts this year?